Hidden on the
right hand side of this website, you can find my email. Occasionally
someone stumbles across it and even uses it, which is quite
fortuitous for me – particularly last week when Conchscooter from
Key West Diary shot me
a letter, appropriately subject-ed, “You Love Email to Bits...”
because I do love email to bits, particularly when it starts, “It's
two AM and officers have caught a prowler with video of his
neighbors...” and goes on to detail an impending acquisition of a
sparkling piece of vintage machinery. A story of history, two-wheeled love, and travel that took
Conchscooter from New York to the Grand canyon.
I couldn't
resist. Behind Bars is looking for guest bloggers, and this
was just too good. I had to ask him – Do you mind if this goes on
the site? He agreed, and sent in a fine story with pictures to match. If you want to be like Conchscooter, drop me a line. I'd love to hear from you.
*****
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| Smitten Kitten! What's not to love about a Vespa P200 from 1979? |
I
called my wife and had one of those conversations that reek of
awkwardness and embarrassment. I needed to ask her indulgence so I
was pretty tentative."I keep going back to look at the ad in
Modern
Vespa"
I said. "I think I want to..."
"Me too," she
interrupted. "We have to do this. We
have to buy the Vespa."
Normally
my wife is a hard bargainer, but Jeremy in Iowa was clearly not
excited about letting his baby (1979 P200E) go, and we sent him a check for the
full asking price of $2500 without harassing him
even a little bit.
True, Jeremy restored it meticulously in 2009
according to his ad, but why would I pay that much money for such an
ancient machine? The short answer is nostalgia, but the long answer
is actually quite long, and it is an answer packed with practical
considerations.
In 1970 my Italian mother bought me an orange
Vespa 50R as a twelfth birthday present. I couldn't ride it legally
for another two years, but I lived in a isolated mountain community in
the central Italian region of Umbria. A kid riding a Vespa was not
something anyone noticed. Helmet? Nah. Insurance? Huh? Cellphone? A
personal phone was pure science fiction as I wandered the hidden
roads and trails miles from home.
Every
motorcycle I bought as a young adult was my tool to travel over the
horizon, so I always looked to the practical, low cost, and easy
maintenance (no maintenance was never an option back then!) Yet, I
wanted the glamor of the motorcycle to shine through the adapted
luggage and the piles of camping gear when I traveled the roads of
Europe and North Africa in the 70s. A Vespa was not manly enough for
this youthful rider.
I was planning a trip across the US and was thinking about a Harley, influenced by a strange movie I had just seen in a classic movie theater in Rome. I was no dope smoking Easy Rider, but the principle of riding a Harley across the US looked so right, so correct even though Harleys then were notoriously finicky.
Then
I met this man at a Motorcycle show in Milan.
![]() |
| Roberto Patrignani I always had the travel bug, and before the internet I learnedfrom motorcycle magazines, reading about the exploits of the pioneers who went before me. |
My guru Roberto Patrignani rode to the Tokyo Olympics in 1964
on a brand new Vespa, and he extolled the virtues of the lightweight,
easy to handle scooter with eight inch wheels.
![]() |
| Conchscooter's Vespa P200E |
At the
event, Patrignani convinced me of the merits of the Vespa as touring
machine at 60mph, so I bought a brand new P200E in Brooklyn and took
off with a good deal less cool and a good deal more reliability under
my butt!
Five months later, leaving Mexico by way of Nogales, riding
north for the border my formerly pristine Vespa looked like this but
ran perfectly, still returning 60miles per gallon of whatever fuel I
found in Mexico.
I kept that Vespa for ten years of commuting in Santa Cruz California where I settled the following
year. I have regretted selling the scooter ever since. So when my
wife saw the love in my eyes she thought getting an Indian built
Stella was just the thing for me in Key West. $4200 later this
tangerine P150 lookalike was all mine, orange just like my first
Vespa. It was meant to be, except it wasn't, because it ended up seizing almost immediately and it never did run right, as we can see:
![]() |
| Conchscooter's Reliable Stella (P150 look alike) |
But the scooter lust was
reignited. I tried again with a 2007 GTS 250, a proper modern Vespa
at $7200. That too kept crapping out on me though it did last ten
thousand miles.
![]() |
| 2007 GTS 250, a "proper" modern Vespa. Only $7,200 |
I loved it, fast
and comfortable yet constantly blowing electrical relays and fuel
pumps. My wife pronounced it "unsafe at any speed" and off
it went, sold to a man from Kansas for $3200.
Scooters are costly!
But the Vespa cult was deep under my skin. When Key West's surly
Yamaha dealer got the Genuine franchise I'd ride by and see the
Stella parked out front, waiting for me to give the brand a second
chance. "No Indian motorcycles," my wife snapped when she
also saw me eyeing it with lust searing my eyeballs.
I've had five trouble free
years with what is undoubtedly the best motorcycle of my life, and
after 42 years riding I say that with conviction. Yet my 2007 Triumph
Bonneville has, as of this writing, 67,800 miles on the clock, well
over a hundred thousand kilometers. I rack up the miles at a rate of
nearly 1500 a month commuting in a mild climate, touring Up North
when I can with the odd Iron Butt ride thrown in. I adore the
Bonneville but I want to slow down the accumulation of miles.
I want
to keep it a long while and no one really knows how long it will
last. I want it to last the rest of my life. I need, for the first
time in my life a back up ride. I have never owned two bikes at once,
till now. My back up had to be economical, easy to use, highway
capable and it had to speak to me. I considered a Suzuki 250TU, a
Honda CBR 250 or a Sym 150 Classic but none of them hit the spot.
Suddenly it was obvious, I could buy a machine with no final drive
chain (the Vespa has four gears and direct drive), a spare wheel
(with easily changed split rim mounted tires) and lots of room for
luggage front and back all with an easily mounted open frame design.
The economy has knocked the market for restored Vespas into the
reasonable price range and the more I looked around the more I knew
it was doable. The problem was, after all the money wasted on the
Stella and the GTS would my wife go for another money pit on small
wheels?
I don't know that I will
get to do another cross country trip on my P200E,
but I can dream. Italians still follow in Patrignani's footsteps and
organize raids (journeys) by Vespa the way the maestro
showed them in his books. In America where there's no substitute for
cc's the idea of a long trip on a 65mph 200cc "moped" is
absurd, but I know it can be done and it can be fun. So in late
September I fly to Des Moines and sight unseen bungee my suitcase to
the rack and ride Jeremy's former beloved 2000 miles home to the
Florida Keys. In my mind I will keep this picture of my guru in
Afghanistan in 1964 lighting my way as he did on my US trip in
1981.
The design has been
refined over 50 years and it really does work well. For me the 200cc
model with 15 hp works well as a commuter, a tourer and as a
nostalgia machine all in one. Any resemblance between the picture
below, taken on the Tropic of Cancer in Mexico's central mountains,
and the photo above is not at all coincidental. Because the Vespa as
tourer in concept still works for me so I hope very much this journey
from Mason City to Key West works and brings back to life a dead
memory of travel by Vespa which lights up my memory bank. I expect
long boring hours in the saddle with nothing but my thoughts to pass
the time, as I will have nothing electronic, no GPS, no iPod, no
heated grips to warm me on my way. Just me, paper maps, serendipity
and a lttle cast iron cylinder chugging away the miles.
![]() |
| Conchscooter's Guru, Roberto Patrignani |
![]() |
| The fearless author, Conchscooter on the Tropic of Cancer in Mexico's Central mountains accompanied by his Vespa P200 |
*****
I would like to thank Conchscooter for taking the time to pen and submit to Behind Bars. For reference, no, the author of Behind Bars was not the man in Kansas who purchased the Temperamental GTS 250, though it is his style. Want to submit your own story? Quality writing accompanied by pictures is always appreciated and examined! Contact me, BradyC! Address it to Spike, if you're feeling frisky. If you think Vespas are just too mind-blowingly cool (but you can't afford one) try a shirt!








Dear Sir:
ReplyDeleteI was shocked, absolutely shocked to see the reckless manner in which this blog was so savagely manhandled by a scooter barnacle from Key West. I can assure you I will run every statement through FactCheck.com and do a photo comparison of shots in which he claims are him. Do you honestly think his one remaining ball is as big as it appears in that last shot?
On the one occasion Conchscooter (not his real name) showed up at my door, he'd dropped his other Vespa (a Triumph Bonneville) by stepping on a banana peel just outside a petting zoo.
Still, I admire your pluck in letting Michael Vespage (his real name) seize your blog for a day. Someday, I am going to ride down to Key West and find out why he is called "The Clown Prince Of Duval Street."
You are a kind person. (While he assumed control of your blog, I assumed control of his.)
Fondest regards,
Jack/reep
Twisted Roads
Author of Conversations With A Motorcycle
I really enjoyed this read it was great!
ReplyDeleteRoger,
DeleteThanks for taking the time to drop by and have a read! I'm glad you made it out of your most recent (near) scrape without incident. I cringed while reading. (Or, as my father in law says, my butt puckered.)
Enjoy the riding season. Ours has been garbage and fall will be upon us soon in a torrent of yellow and red, then leave us brown.
Brady
Behind Bars
JR,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your diligence. For better or worse, I am a trusting soul who takes people at face value. I assume that Conchscooter - or Mr. Vespage, as is his given name, is who he says he is. If you think he's not, I appreciate the help. I'm currently too busy trying to nail down this prince from Kinyarwanda. Apparently his internet is a bit spotty across the ocean, but we've been trying to work out a time when we can safely transfer banking data. I've been a bit down on cash since I made that investment in the Eiffel Tower back when we were in Europe (I got shares for pennies on the dollar! [euro]) and could use the promised boost in revenue to purchase a new computer. It hasn't been the same since I tried to watch the new Transformers movie. I downloaded MOVIE.EXE like the website said, I even disabled my Windows Defender and Antivirus - but alas, the movie never played. I'll have to buy a Mac next so I don't have any more of these problems.
Again, thank you for your help in the matter.
Brady
Behind Bars
I appreciate your enthusiasm Brady for an old bike project. To a fly and ride sight unseen smacks of a true adventure, ie outcome unknown, and less like a tour on the Bonneville ( or Comcours) where the outcome is reasonably certain, if we are spared the lack of attention of zombies in cages. The Vespa has to prove itself entirely as does the 54 year old me! I know you will be urging me on...
ReplyDeleteConch,
DeleteHalf of the fun owning an old Honda was that the thing could break at any moment. Half of the fun of riding around with Raptorman was that you never were quite sure what might happen (like that maybe he would run out of gas on the way). The thing is, if you go out with the right person (Raptorman) when things go wrong, they don't freak, they just pile on the back of your machine and figure out a way to fix it.
Consider yourself urged. I hope to see some pics from the road - not that you'll have a lot of time to stop and smell the roses. How many hours a day are you going to be on the road?
Brady
2,000 miles x five days...with perhaps an overnight haul through Florida to get back ready for work Saturday night September 29th. I will avoid the Interstates as these days cars travel at 80mph or more for the most part. A 60mph scooter is going to be good for short stretches at most! A terminal breakdown will involve either a U-Haul and hauling the scooter home or parking it securely and rentinga car to drive home for pick up later.
ReplyDeleteThis trip really is an adventure; the outcome is entirely uncertain. Anything short of death will be good.
I'm delighted you will have your own scooter again. And,what a great adventure in the making. I love it! If you travel through Missouri wave. If I see you I will wave back. Promise.
ReplyDelete~Keith
I will be rolling down highway 65 I hope in the middle of the Hawkeye State but I will wave to the west as I go.
ReplyDeleteGreat read and glad you reunited with the little "wasp", safe riding, I will be following it :-)
ReplyDeleteAnother Vespa/Honda nut here. I have a 78 P200 that I am restoring. Mechanicals were all done and then some idiot hit me... back to the drawing board!
ReplyDeleteShe is well worth it, VIN number VSX1-1100, the earliest frame sent to the US market according to Vespa. Original owner put 97000 miles on it before parking it for good when his eyesight started to fail.
In the meantime, the CB550 gets all the loving. The two bikes are good companions, both have real personality that has to be experienced to believe.
That really is a lot of miles. I'm hoping to do likewise with a nearly standard Vespa, a sito plus and not much else changed. I am two weeks away and it feels like christmas.
ReplyDeleteRussel, I'm with Conch, that is a hell of a lot of miles. I think you could make us both happy with a pass through your garage. I like scooters, but that 550 makes me curious.
ReplyDeleteBrady
Behind Bars